Overwhelmed and unsure how to help your child?
Parent Training and Support
When it comes to anxiety and OCD, the entire family is affected.
It is not uncommon for family members to get pulled into their loved one’s worrying thoughts or repetitive behaviors—after all, parents will want to do whatever they can to minimize their anxious child’s distress!
Engaging in accommodation behaviors often starts out innocently enough. Accommodation is any change a parent or family member makes to their own behavior to help someone avoid or lessen their anxiety. Family members may also provide reassurance, such as trying to convince their loved one that “nothing bad will happen.”
Unfortunately, while it may seem that these behaviors help in the short term to alleviate the child’s anxiety, these behaviors only worsen and strengthen the anxiety over time. When others give in to the anxiety, rather than letting the child tolerate some discomfort and learn to use coping skills, it teaches them to become reliant on the parent to get rid of their distress. Each time an accommodation behavior is provided, it inadvertently signals to the child “You can’t do this”.
For long-standing anxiety that has demanded months or even years of accommodation, suddenly cutting it off cold turkey can be very distressing for a child. But continuing to accommodate is making things worse. Fortunately, there is hope that with the right tools, a child and family can thrive and return to living full, meaningful lives.
Common Accommodating Behaviors
Modifying routines, schedules, or expectations to alleviate symptoms of distress.
Answering questions repeatedly or providing constant reassurance regarding anxiety provoking thoughts or fears.
Avoiding going places or doing things that you know will trigger their anxiety.
Participating in anxious behavior such as checking the locks or appliances.
Taking on extra responsibilities (e.g., going places with them, driving them places, completing chores that are too triggering).
Making changes at your job to be more available.
Helping with the behavior (e.g., buying extra cleaning products, modifications to the home environment).
Did you know that research suggests that teaching parents how to respond to their child’s anxiety may be as effective at reducing anxiety symptoms in children as treating the child themselves?
It is critical for parents to learn how to support their child by validating their emotions and demonstrating confidence in their ability to cope. Eliminating unhelpful accommodations requires a strategic, consistent approach that is shared amongst all family members. Learning tools to support someone with anxiety allows you to focus on the one thing that is within your control—YOU. Dr. Gannon can guide your family through the process of supporting your loved one and eliminating unhelpful accommodating behaviors.
Can you still help even if my child doesn’t want to be involved in treatment?
Yes! Dr. Gannon offers Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE), which is a time-limited, research supported, parent-focused treatment for children with anxiety or OCD. While the child is still considered the primary client, parents participate in SPACE without the child present during sessions. Individual therapy may be offered to the child either alongside SPACE, afterward, or not at all. To learn more about the SPACE protocol, visit: www.spacetreatment.net.